Red Lobster doesn't help me lose weight

by Anne
(USA)

To be honest, it's not Red Lobster's fault. The restaurant chain provides naked fish, if that's what I want. But the problem is that it also provides those wonderful baked potatoes, the best I've tasted anywhere. They simply scream for butter, sour cream, ranch dressing, or any combination thereof.

And there are the sauces for the fish. Tartar sauce. Red sauce. Of course I COULD ask for malt vinegar, but do you really think I'm going to?

And the drinks. Alcoholic, non-alcoholic. I COULD ask for water, but all those nice fruit drinks--nahh, I can drink water at home.

And then the desserts. Oh my, the desserts. Last time I went there my son-in-law, Joe, took me. I was already so full that half the food on the plate was going home in a bag, but I HAD to have that cheesecake. Or was it the key lime pie? I couldn't have both.

Well, I could, but I couldn't eat them both at the same time.

Meanwhile Joe, who stays skinny no matter what he eats, had eaten everything but the tablecloth and the things he was saving for the dogs. He wanted to go home and give the dogs their treats.

Burp. Burp. I wriggled my way out of the booth and picked up my take-home containers, so they didn't get confused with the dogs' treats.

Burp.

I finished the drink on the way home. I ate part of the take-home for a late-night snack. Part for breakfast. Part for lunch, and that finished it off.

Finished me off, too, though it was still about a year and a half before I went and got weight lost surgery. Now I CAN'T eat the pies or the fruit drinks, because dire things will happen if I do, and I can't put a lot of junk on the potato for the same reason. But somehow, I suspect I will still manage to gain weight at Red Lobster. Or at least slow my weight loss.